Our son David recently applied to the University of Virginia (UVA) and below is his Personals Statement from the Common Application. He was accepted and declared as a Biology major.
(word count: 355)
Common Application Personal Statement
Transferring to a four-year university has always been my goal. Beginning when I was five, my parents invested in the [prepaid college] program to pay for a bachelor’s degree for my three older siblings and me. Every parent’s dream is to see their children succeed, and my parents did what they could to help make that happen. Even as a child, I knew I wanted to make an impact in the world. I wanted to do something that set me apart; not something just anybody could do. By the time I graduated from high school, I knew I wanted to be in the medical field. Since then, I have narrowed my career down to becoming a dentist or an orthodontist. I have been working towards that goal for three years at Virginia Western Community College, and while my time at Western has been fruitful, it is time for me to move on and get one step closer to achieving my goal. Transferring to a four-year university is the next step. My ambition is to earn a Bachelor of Science degree and upon passing the Dental Admissions Test, to matriculate at VCU’s School of Dentistry. After that, if I decide to specialize in a particular branch of dentistry, I will go on to study that post graduate program. While every step in this journey is important, I believe that the most important step is always the one that we are facing at the moment, and in my case, that would be transferring to attain my bachelor’s degree. These next few years will be pivotal in the direction my life goes, and I want to ensure I make the right choices and meet the right people, as cliché as that sounds. I am blessed to be a world traveler; however, my whole life, I have lived in Roanoke, and this is an opportunity to expand my horizons and enrich my life by seeking new experiences and meeting new people in new places. College is the ideal place for this, and I am eager to meet other bright and ambitious students who are also working toward their goals.
**************
Prompt: Why do you want to study in UVA’s College of Arts and Sciences?
My planned course of study is to major in biology in the School of Arts and Sciences at UVA. Why? While it is common knowledge that biology and chemistry are the giants in terms of what pre-dental students study, I do know that it is not a requirement to major in either of those fields. Nevertheless, having a strong background in biology should help my candidacy to someday enter dental school and make me more successful in my practice. Furthermore, I find biology incredibly fascinating. I am currently in my second semester of Anatomy and Physiology — where I have maintained a 100-plus average — and they have been my favorite classes so far in my three years at community college. However, I understand that being well-rounded is also important, so I will take social sciences like psychology and sociology to develop a deeper understanding of people and how to interact with them. While science is incredibly important to my career, being able to handle people in a setting where they generally feel uncomfortable is equally important, and I cannot think of a place the general public hates more than a dentist’s office! I hope to get into UVA’s School of Arts and Sciences and absorb as much knowledge as I can during my time there. After that, I will use that knowledge and my experience to better the lives of those in my sphere of influence.
**************
Common Application Additional Information Essay
Regarding qualifications, my background is remarkably diverse. I grew up in a multi-cultural, bilingual home, where dad spoke English and mom spoke Mandarin to me. For seven summers growing up, my three siblings and I traveled to Taiwan to see family and to teach basic English for my dad’s company. These early experiences gave me a broad worldview and set me apart from the average applicant. I can bring this global perspective to your campus.
Regarding extenuating circumstances, while I understand my overall GPA is not outstanding, I attribute that to several factors. First and foremost, while studying as a full time student at Virginia Western Community College (VWCC), I also worked an average of 30 hours a week. I work in the pharmacy where I dispense medications, call doctors offices, interact with sick and often crabby customers, and fix problems with insurance companies. It is a high-stress job, and I have to devote much energy to ensure I perform successfully. Additionally, my job required I take the National Pharmacy Technician’s Exam within nine months of my hire date. To prepare, I had to devote 160 hours to taking a computer module-based program to gain additional knowledge and training for my position. This included learning the effects of different drugs, math and conversion, memorizing brand-name drugs to generic, state and national laws and regulations, and many other things. I passed the exam on my first attempt, becoming one of the first technicians in our pharmacy’s history to do so as well as being the only currently
employed technician to pass it on the first try. While I do enjoy my job, time spent here was time I could not spend studying for school.
Another GPA factor was my being unprepared. I attended the P.L.A.T.O gifted program in elementary school and in middle school I skipped sixth grade, but I went to a high school where I was not challenged; I did not have to put forth much effort and still graduated with a 3.78 GPA. Upon graduating, I still had never taken a basic general biology course. However, I took the honors and dual-enrollment classes that were available, to challenge myself as much as possible. Nevertheless, I spent my first two full time semesters at VWCC playing catch-up. My GPA was subpar, averaging 2.5. I even got my first-ever D in a course, BIO 206. While admittedly, I did not devote enough time and effort to this class, it was difficult for the majority of the class; test averages were either a low or mid-70, and the final exam average was in the 60s. Most of my classmates were ambitious, aiming for medical careers. Nonetheless, I blame my poor GPA during my first two semesters primarily on my overall lack of dedication and preparation. I was unaccustomed to having to work hard for good grades. However, I flipped the switch when I declared a program of study. For over half my time at Virginia Western, I was considered “non-curricular.” I was taking classes that I thought I would need, but was not entirely sure what I wanted to do yet, so I had not declared a major. In my fourth semester at Western, I decided to get my Associates of Science. Since then, my GPA has shot up. I understand that colleges look for trends, so please take my last three semesters at Western as an accurate representation of what I am capable of. The semester after I declared my major, I earned a 3.714 GPA and was on the President’s Honor Roll. Last semester, I had a 4.0, and only withdrew from my history class because the professor was profane, unprofessional, and rambling. Currently, I am in the middle of my final semester at Western, and am working towards attaining another 4.0 this term. I am a hard worker, I believe in myself, and I hope you can also.
Are you an international student studying in the USA, or you want to? Check out this article with helpful ideas about how to be successful in a US university! (PS: The tips are good for American students too!)
*****************
Do you want help with English writing? See how we can help you here. Do you want help applying to a US high school or college? See what universities Scott has helped other students gain acceptance to. Scott helped them; he can help you too!
Contact Scott today to find out more.
Since 2010, based in the friendly USA State of Virginia, DreyerCoaching.com has been providing customized, high-quality, real-time language instruction via the internet to a global audience in their home, school, or office. Think how comfortable, confident and successful you or your child will feel, receiving personalized guidance from college-educated teachers who are native speakers and have bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees plus decades of teaching experience. Whether you are looking for help with the ABCs or the SATs, or college admissions to conversational English to business writing, we serve all ages and levels to help our students make dreams come true. Discover the Dreyer Difference. Take the first step and visit DreyerCoaching.com, send Scott an email, or schedule a free consultation to get started.
自 2010 年以来，DreyerCoaching.com 总部位于友好的美国弗吉尼亚州，一直通过互联网向全球观众在家中、学校或办公室提供有制度的、高质量的实时语言教学。 想想您或您的孩子会感到多么自在、自信和成功，从受过大学教育的教师那里获得个别的指导，这些教师都是以英语为母语，拥有学士、硕士和博士学位，以及数十年的教学经验的教师。 无论是从 英语ABC的基础课程 或 SAT 的帮助，就读美国高中，大学入学申请，还是从会话英语到商务写作，我们都为所有年龄和水平的学生提供服务，帮助我们的学生实现梦想。 发觉 Dreyer 的不同之处。 迈出第一步，游览 DreyerCoaching.com网站，向 Scott 发送电子邮件，可开始安排一个免费咨询。
